Hi Reader,

Yudi here,

I watched a friend hide a job referral from me.

Ten years later, I still think about it.

Because it taught me what kind of person I never want to become.

But over the last ten years, I also learned what the opposite looks like.

I still hang out with my ex-boss from my Chico days.

Sometimes we grab food. Sometimes we play poker. Sometimes we go throw axes together.

It's been more than a decade, and he's still one of the closest relationships I've built in this country.

That didn't happen by accident.

It happened because both of us chose to invest in each other when we didn't have to.

And the more I think about it, the more I realize this is one of the biggest differences between people who simply survive in the US and those who build a life here.

The scoreboard never stops changing

Back home, success was easier to measure.

• You scored well in exams.
• You got into a good college.
• You landed a good job.

Everyone more or less agreed on what success looked like.

Life in the US feels different.

Every week, there's a new scoreboard.

Someone gets picked in the H1B lottery. Someone posts about a promotion. Someone buys their first house.

Someone announces a FAANG offer. Someone shares a salary that's twice yours.

When you're already worried about visas, jobs, or finances, it's very easy to start measuring your own progress against everyone else's.

Slowly, two things happen.

• You feel smaller.
• You stop seeing people as community and start seeing them as competition.

That is where many people quietly go wrong.

Competition changes people in ways they don't notice

I've seen students who once shared everything suddenly become protective.

• They stop sharing job openings.
• They hide how they got referrals.
• They gatekeep lawyers, tax tips, and visa updates.
• They stop introducing friends to recruiters because they're afraid someone else might get the opportunity first.

It rarely happens overnight. It happens one small decision at a time.

And eventually, helping someone starts feeling like losing something yourself.

Here's what I've learned after 10+ years in the US

None of those things actually improve your own situation.

Hiding a referral won't increase your chances of getting hired.

Keeping immigration information to yourself won't improve your visa timeline.

Being jealous of someone else's H1B lottery won't improve your odds next year.

Those actions don't move your life forward.

They only make the journey lonelier.

What actually compounds

We spend a lot of time talking about things that compound.

• Money compounds.
• Investments compound.
• Skills compound.

But relationships compound too.

The people who seem to "know someone everywhere" didn't wake up one day with a great network.

They spent years:

• helping people without expecting anything back
• staying in touch
• showing up consistently
• building trust

Eventually, that trust starts opening doors.

• Someone remembers them when a role opens.
• Someone refers them before a job is even posted.
• Someone introduces them to the right hiring manager.

From the outside, it looks like luck.

Most of the time, it's years of relationship-building finally paying off.

One thing I've noticed during layoffs is this:

The people who recover the fastest aren't always the smartest.

They're often the people who built strong relationships.

When they lose a job...

Someone knows a company that's hiring.

When they're confused about immigration...

Someone has already spoken to an attorney.

When they're negotiating salary...

Someone shares compensation data.

When they need a place to stay after moving cities...

Someone offers a spare room.

Community doesn't remove uncertainty.

It makes uncertainty easier to navigate.

This is something we intentionally built inside the accelerator.

People usually join the Job Hunting Accelerator because they want:

• resume feedback
• interview preparation
• job search strategy

But one of the biggest things they end up valuing is the community itself.

Students share referrals. They discuss visa updates. They review each other's resumes. They celebrate offers together. Because no one should have to figure out this journey alone.

And honestly, that's exactly how I wish more international students approached their careers.

That friend hiding a referral taught me something I'll never forget.

Your actions will always say everything about you.

Their actions will always say everything about them.

You don't get to choose how other people behave.

But you do get to choose what kind of person you become.

So choose carefully.

Because staying in the US isn't just about one offer letter, one visa approval, or one lottery result.

It's about building a life where people trust you, recommend you, and genuinely want to see you succeed.

Kindness isn't weakness.

For international students, it might be one of the smartest long-term career strategies you'll ever invest in.

Talk soon,

— Yudi